The Plague!!!

Sunday, May 17, 2020, 16:35 EDT Leave a comment Go to comments

[05/18/2020: Minor text edits for clarity and image edits for size. -DM]

It took a global pandemic to get me back here, so first things first:

I’m coronavirus-free, as is every member of the Den family. That’s the good news.

On the downside, I feel like a hostage, and an increasingly broke one at that. All but one of my assorted self-employment ventures have been shut down, and IT SUCKS.

Now that I have that out of the way, allow me to share a couple of memes I made in the early days of the lockdown.

SORRY, EARTH IS CLOSED
Yeah, it feel like this.

MISSING: TOILET PAPER
Unfortunately, still true two months later.

On the TP front, I’ve been able to buy it three times: twice from the supermarket (4-roll packs, one per customer) and once at BJ’s Wholesale Club (24-roll pack, one per customer). So we’re actually doing OK. Ditto with tissues and paper towels. I’ve even managed to get my hands on some bleach (store brand, two per customer).

What I can’t seem to find anywhere is rice pilaf, specifically Near East. When did I miss the run on rice pilaf? And don’t get me started on some of the prices, including $4.49 for a pound of store brand butter.

Speaking of prices, one thing that has gone down is gasoline, simply because of the law of supply and demand. Many people are either out of work or working from home, so no gas-guzzling commute. Those who have to drive to their “essential” jobs aren’t going anywhere else. And hallelujah to that, because the last four times I filled up, I paid US$2.09⁹, $1.87⁹, and $1.81⁹ (twice). For my readers north of the border and east of the pond, that’s a price range per liter of US$0.48-$0.55 or, using today’s currency exchange rates, CA$0.68-0.78, €0.44-0.51, or £0.40-0.46. Which I’m pretty sure is less than you’re paying. God bless America.

On the CoVID-19 death front, I feel like the United States should break down their numbers between New York City and everywhere else. But since that isn’t how they’re doing it and I have math fatigue from those gasoline conversions, I’ll go with the national death rate of roughly 271 deaths per 1,000,000 people. Not great by any means (f*ck you, NYC!) but a lot better than France (431), the United Kingdom (511), Italy (528), and Spain (589, ¡madre de Dios!).

I have a LOT to say about who is dying, but that will have to wait for another post. I have to run to the grocery store and buy a lobster for supper ($5.99 for a one-pounder at Price Chopper) and maybe find some rice pilaf.

Oh, who am I kidding? They’re won’t be any rice pilaf.

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