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Email and Alternate Universes

Monday, October 21, 2019, 21:51 EDT Leave a comment Go to comments

Just dropping in to share a ridiculous exchange I had recently via email. But first, the back story.

I might or might not have mentioned at some point in the past that I get other people’s email on a semi-regular basis. That’s because, as an early adopter of Gmail, I managed to get the address “dmother at gmail dot com” (except with my real first initial and last name) before anybody else could. Since then, every other person with the same first initial and last name has had to add a middle initial or numbers to sign up for Gmail. Then they forget, and they give people their email address as “dmother at gmail dot com” (except with my real first initial and last name). I’ve gotten communications from the schoolteachers of other people’s kids, meeting minutes from other people’s condo associations, and appointment reminders from other people’s doctors. I get account confirmations from StitchFix, I regularly receive earning and leave statement notifications for some unknown military service member. I even once got some guy’s Atlanta Falcons e-tickets the day before the game.

Never before had I gotten into an argument with someone about an email I received in error. That changed on October 1, when I received a FedEx shipment notification about a package for J—–y B—–e of Tuscaloosa, Alabama, from a H—–r M—-r at a company called College Chefs. Since I am not now nor have I ever been J—–y B—–e, and I’ve never been to Tuscaloosa, Alabama, I decided to notify H—–r M—-r of her error.

From: d—–r@gmail.com
To: h—–r@collegechefs.com

You had this sent to the wrong person.

This is the exchange that ensued over the next two days:

From: h—–r@collegechefs.com
To: d—–r@gmail.com

What do you mean?

From: d—–r@gmail.com
To: h—–r@collegechefs.com

You set up my email address to receive delivery updates for a FedEx shipment. I don’t know who you are, so whomever you wanted to receive FedEx updates must have given you the wrong email address.

From: h—–r@collegechefs.com
To: d—–r@gmail.com

Nope… this is not a mistake… I get a lot of emails and texts and phone calls asking me if I have sent out chef coats… These are J—–y B—–e’s chef coats’, he’s the new chef in Alabama.  Moving forward there will be a note in the email that says they are chef coats.

Also, FedEx has a new policy about delivery where sometimes they hold the package at a FedEx location so I want to make sure that the person getting the package the REC and me all know where it is 🙂

Granted you are not one of the people that usually ask me if I sent out chef coats but I’m just gonna send it to everyone to be on the safe side 🙂

She was partially correct: I’m not one of the people that ever asks her if she sent out chef coats. Because what the hell is a chef’s coat?

From: d—–r@gmail.com
To: h—–r@collegechefs.com

I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know anything about chef’s coats, I’m not a chef, and I live in Massachusetts. Whoever was getting this shipment, I assure you it isn’t me.

That messaged seems to have convinced H—–r M—-r, and I haven’t heard from her since.

Now ordinarily, when I notify someone that they have the wrong email address, they say either, “Thanks,” or “Sorry!” Because those are normal responses. I mean, I could just delete the email and forget about it, but I try to be helpful, even if the people who give the wrong email address don’t deserve my help with their stupid error. The Falcons ticket guy, whom I was able to call because the email with his e-tickets listed his name and phone number, was exceedingly grateful that I offered to forward the tickets to his real email address. So I have to wonder, when H—–r was told that I didn’t know who she was, who the package recipient was, or what a chef’s coat was, whatever possessed her to argue with me?

Whatever. It’s over, and I don’t expect to hear from H—–r M—-r at College Chefs again. Now if I can only figure out how to notify the U.S. Department of Defense that I don’t need to keep getting some unknown service member’s earnings and leave statements.

Categories: stupidity
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