Shocking Brain Scans on European Bureaucrats Reveal Nothing
OK, so I have no direct knowledge of such test results. But I can reasonably deduce that such results would exist if the tests were done, judging by a recent decision by the European Food Standards Authority, a European Union entity whose members are evidently required to undergo lobotomies:
Producers of bottled water are now forbidden by law from making the claim [that drinking water helps prevent dehydration] and will face a two-year jail sentence if they defy the edict, which comes into force in the UK next month.
[ . . . ]
German professors Dr Andreas Hahn and Dr Moritz Hagenmeyer, who advise food manufacturers on how to advertise their products, asked the European Commission if the claim could be made on labels.
They compiled what they assumed was an uncontroversial statement in order to test new laws which allow products to claim they can reduce the risk of disease, subject to EU approval.
They applied for the right to state that “regular consumption of significant amounts of water can reduce the risk of development of dehydration” as well as preventing a decrease in performance.
However, last February, the European Food Standards Authority (EFSA) refused to approve the statement.
A meeting of 21 scientists in Parma, Italy, concluded that reduced water content in the body was a symptom of dehydration and not something that drinking water could subsequently control.
[ . . . ]
Prof Brian Ratcliffe, spokesman for the Nutrition Society, said dehydration was usually caused by a clinical condition and that one could remain adequately hydrated without drinking water.
He said: “The EU is saying that this does not reduce the risk of dehydration and that is correct.
“This claim is trying to imply that there is something special about bottled water which is not a reasonable claim.”
Except that the statement that was submitted to the EFSA doesn’t appear to imply any such thing. And someone with a functioning brain needs to call Mr. Ratcliffe and point out to him that dehydration isn’t “caused by a clinical condition”; it is a clinical condition that can have many causes, the most common of which is… wait for it… lack of adequate water consumption. And by “water,” I don’t mean only plain water. Many foods and beverages contain water and can therefore hydrate someone who consumes them. But plain water will also do that. Duh.
I have to go take a shower now. I feel dirty just having had to explain that.