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The Den Mother’s Super Bowl Ad Critique

Tuesday, February 9, 2010, 02:49 EDT Leave a comment Go to comments

Thank God Al Gore for the internet! Without it, I wouldn’t be able to review all the Super Bowl XLIV television ads without the background noise of a couple hundred other revelers at McFadden’s Pub in Providence, Rhode Island (where, by the way, there were two Colts fans in attendance).

There were 68 ads, more than I care to comment on. So I have selected a few of the best and worst. You will notice that I avoided all the ads having anything to do with underwear. They all got an automatic Eeeewwwwwww.

  • Bud Light house made of beer cans — Hated it.
    And to think that the poor suckers at Anheuser-Busch paid some snot-nosed advertising executive big bucks to come up with this spectacle of stupidity. They should demand their money back.
  • Snickers featuring Betty White and Abe Vigoda — Loved it.
    Betty White hasn’t changed her hairstyle since she was on the Mary Tyler Moore Show in the ’70s. The best part is that I don’t think she cares. And she had the best line of the day (“That’s not what your girlfriend says!”)
  • Focus on the Family with Pam and Tim Tebow — Liked it.
    It was cute, not to mention the least controversial or offensive ad possible. All the people who spent the last three weeks hyperventilating now look like idiots.
  • Boost Mobile’s Super Bowl Shuffle — Hated it.
    The Super Bowl Shuffle sucked the first time around, and it still sucks. Besides, no one under the age of 30 understood this commercial.
  • Coke featuring Mr. Burns — Hated it.
    Yes, I get that Coke is supposed to make you happy and bring about World Peace. I remember the buy-the-world-a-Coke commercials of my childhood. They should have left it at that.
  • Late Show with Dave, Jay, and Oprah — Loved it.
    Between Letterman’s infamous peccadillos, Winfrey’s history of Dave-dissing, and Leno’s recent public relations debacle, this ad packed a lot of entertainment dish into ten seconds.
  • Hyundai featuring geriatric Brett Favre — Loved it.
    I wonder if Favre realized that America was laughing at him, not with him. Of course, if he’s still around in ten years, I’ll be crying, not laughing.
  • NFL Draft featuring young Peyton Manning — Hated it.
    God, he was even goofier looking in college. And can we please have just one NFL game without a Peyton Manning commercial? Pretty please?
  • E-Trade babies — Loved it.
    OK, I have a soft spot for all the E-Trade baby commercials. And “milkaholic” will be this year’s hot new word.
  • 2010 U.S. Census — Hated it.
    Your tax dollars in action, people. If they’re going to waste my money, the least they can do is waste it on an ad that isn’t completely lame.
  • Diamond Foods performing swimmers — Liked it.
    The sort of Planet-of-the-Apes role reversal made me laugh out loud, even as I proclaimed to my friends how ridiculous I thought it was. The ring of fire was great.
  • Anheuser-Busch horse and bull — Hated it.
    The Clydesdales are usually as automatic for me as the E-Trade babies. Cattle, on the other hand, do nothing for me. You can’t ruin a beautiful Clydesdale scene with something as ugly as a Texas longhorn, or whatever that thing was.
  • E-Trade crying babies — Liked it.
    Not as good as the other one, but as I said, I dig the adorable kids. The only problem is that it made me really really really want a boiled lobster.
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