Home > funny/satire > Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab’s Diary

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab’s Diary

Thursday, December 31, 2009, 02:19 EDT Leave a comment Go to comments

Picking up where yesterday’s laboratory penis story left off, I direct you to a first-hand account of the botched Christmas airline bombing, courtesy of the venerable Iowahawk, who manages to get the exclusive with all the hot jihadis. You really should read the whole thing, but here’s a sample:

Lemme ask you: have you ever tried to inject a glycerin detonator syringe into some plastic explosives glued under your nutsack, while you were stoned out of your gourd, in an airplane bathroom, during Lake Erie turbulence, while some stupid hippie is pounding on the door? Take my word for this, it. is. a. mofo. I must have stabbed myself in the junk eight or ten times before I finally got it smoldering. So I stroll out of the loo, real casual-like, with my nuts on fire, and headed back to my seat to blow out the fuselage.

Ah, the trials of a suicidal Islamist. Kinda brings a tear to the eye.

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Categories: funny/satire
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