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This Has Redneck Jokes Written All Over It

Friday, December 18, 2009, 22:06 EDT Leave a comment Go to comments

Shall we count them?

A 4-year-old boy had a wild night out after police found him drunk, wearing a girl’s dress and wandering around his neighborhood on Tuesday.

April Wright, 21, told WTVC-TV that she panicked when she didn’t see her son, Hayden, in his bed at her Chattanooga, Tenn. [1], home at 1:45 in the morning. Hayden had somehow managed to break a safety device on a doorknob and get outside. Hayden was found walking in the neighborhood, drinking a 12-ounce beer. [2]

“He runs away trying to find his father,” April said. “He wants to get in trouble so he can go to jail because that’s where his daddy is.” [3]

Police said that Hayden rang the doorbells of a few houses down the street, and one of the neighbors noticed he was holding a partially consumed beer. Hayden then went into a neighbor’s house through the unlocked front door and stole five Christmas gifts. One of them was a brown dress that police found Hayden wearing. [4]

“Going to the neighbor’s house and taking their presents, very embarrassing,” April said.

The police report indicated that Hayden had to be taken to the hospital to be treated for alcohol consumption.

“Kids do things like this and it’s out of your control, you can do the best you can as a mother, everyone makes mistakes, it was an honest mistake,” April said. [5]

Seriously, this would be funny if it weren’t so sad. That mother had better stop making excuses for her troubled child (and for herself — a four-year-old child shouldn’t be “out of your control”) and get Hayden to some serious counseling before it’s too late.

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