Home > politics > Just Because You’re Paranoid Doesn’t Mean They Aren’t Out to Get You

Just Because You’re Paranoid Doesn’t Mean They Aren’t Out to Get You

Monday, March 27, 2006, 16:59 EDT Leave a comment Go to comments

Imagine being so paranoid that you burn your underwear rather than risk death by lethal chemicals slipped into your laundry by would-be assassins. This is the life of megalomaniacal Cuban dictator Fidel Castro, according to a former aide now living in Miami.

In an interview with the Miami Herald, Delfin Fernandez discussed some of Castro’s habits. He said Castro has his used underwear burned rather than laundered, because he fears chemicals could be put in wash water to assassinate him.

Of course, most Cubans would take out Castro if they had a chance. Why wouldn’t they? They live in such bondage that even the privileged, such as the celebrated Cuban national baseball team, want out. But apparentnly Castro thinks his inner circle hates him too. There is an old Twilight Zone episode that addresses this very scenario, complete with Peter Falk playing a Castro look-alike. The victorious “revolutionary”, having just succeeded in his coup, begins to see would-be assassins in the mirror, including some of his co-conspirators whom he envisions taking aim at him with machine guns and slipping poison into his drinks. But even Rod Serling couldn’t concoct anything as ridiculous as murder by laundry detergent.

P.S. A question for America’s far-left neo-fascist apologists for Tío Fidel: If things are so idyllic in the Caribbean’s communist utopia, why doesn’t anyone risk life, limb, and family by sailing homemade rafts through shark-infested waters to get to Cuba? And more importantly, why aren’t you living there? We won’t miss you. Trust me on this one.

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