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Saturday, May 8, 2004, 14:57 EDT Leave a comment Go to comments

After going through recent e-mail, I feel compelled to tell the world, just for the record, that I don’t need:

  • a mortgage,
  • the latest work-at-home opportunity that can earn me up to $7,279 per week,
  • a cable descrambler,
  • to lose 25 pounds in two weeks while eating all the pizza and beer I want,
  • Viagra, Cialis, Xanax, Vicodin, Fioricet, or anything guaranteed to regrow hair,
  • a share of the vast unclaimed wealth of the exiled king of Outer Ding Dong,
  • penis enlargement pills,
  • a ticket for the international lottery sweepstakes,
  • painless credit repair,
  • a diploma from an accredited university, no studying required,
  • stock tips,
  • the secret to selling on eBay,
  • a pre-approved credit card regardless of income or past credit history,
  • hot pics of women having sex with farm animals or household pets, or
  • $50 from Microsoft just for forwarding this e-mail to my entire address book.

But thanks anyway.

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